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For every sorority girl out there who’s posting a photo of her feet or on her Facebook Timeline… for every good ol’ boy who’s posting a list of what his “totally beautiful amazing” wife made for dinner (scrambled eggs)… there’s a traveler out there who’s logging into Facebook from his hostel internet cafe and doing something equally – or even more – obnoxious.

Facebook has a knack for making people feel “less than” when confronted with their friends and acquaintances’ happy marriages, Barbie Dream houses, and new babies. But it’s the travelers who seem to bear the brunt of the envy, their travel-related posts attracting scores of “I hate you”s and “I’m jealous”es (after all, who would dare write that on a friend’s “I’m engaged!” post?) Is it that it’s “okay” to hate on travelers because they have time and money when you don’t? Or is it that – maybe, just maybe, without even trying – we travelers can be pretty darn annoying sometimes? Below, a round up of some annoying things travelers do on Facebook.

I know I’m guilty.

 

1. Posting photos of food you’ll never eat and beaches you’ll never get to see. Sure, just about any travel photo a traveler posts on their wall could be seen as envy-worthy, but you can sort of live with a picture of Cousin Nelly on an elephant or a picture of Co-Worker Jonas on The Great Wall of China. When you’re stuck in an office, though, it’s those food and beach photos that really hurt. Why? Because Nothing says “out to lunch” like, well, a photo of exotic lunch and nothing says “vacation” like a picture of a sandy beach.

My antipasto, not yours!

2. Vague, slightly ominous status updates. Enough has been said about “vaguebooking” – the art of posting attention-seeking status updates. Travelers do it, too, and it’s even more infuriating when they do because their vague-booking doesn’t hint at something depressing, but something fantastic. A fake out, if you will.

Examples of Traveler Vaguebooking: “Flight risk.” “Goodbye, home and everything familiar.” “I can’t take it anymore! Tickets and suitcase, bought.” “Next stop…. Prague.” “Currently packing up everything I own.” Friends and family are forced to beg: What happened? Are you going somewhere? ARE YOU COMING BACK? The traveler then replies: “Hahahaha! Sorry, Aunt Peg. I’m just going on vacation to Denver.” This is what we got hot and bothered for? Call us when you return, bearing gifts.

3. Starting vacation countdowns. Forty-three more days until FIJI! Ten days until Disney World! Oh, fer cryin’ out loud. Not only is your countdown to freedom irritating, it’s exclusionary. You know who cares how many days are left until you see Palm Springs? You and the people going with you. If that.

4. Obsessively charting their travels. Thanks a lot, FourSquare and Facebook Check-In; you’ve made it even easier for people on vacation to gloat. Salvatorina is at McDonald’s in Trafalgar Square! Barnabas is at La Aurora Airport! Katurian is in a washroom… in Bangkok! And that’s not all. Adding each and every city and country to their Where I’ve Been maps. Posting status updates like: “In my hotel room in San Francisco. In the bed in my hotel room in San Francisco. In San Francisco.” Wait, wait, wait. Okay. I’m caught up. Where are you now? Still San Francisco? Got it.

5. Complaining about being on vacation.  I’m sure you’ve seen this, too: “My god. This prickly heat I got from walking through the streets of Paris in the summertime is annoying.” What! Come on! You’re on vacation! Complain when that prickly heat turns into flesh-eating gangrene. Just don’t post a photo.

My sunset!

So I’m guilty of Number One like woah. Maybe Number Four, a little. How many of these Facebook crimes are you guilty of, travelers?

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